the greatest rewards

So, a couple girlfriends and myself have been emailing back and forth about life with kids...how incredible, rewarding, intimidating it can be. We are currently on the subject (one of many) of basically self-respect, self-acceptance and what we want to put forward to our children. 


We want what every parent wants...for our children to be strong, independent, respectful, compassionate, helpful, confident, to "teach the child to be giving but not to give away the essence of self" (to quote my friend).


She is absolutely right. We have to try and teach our children to be all of these things, with out jeopardizing their SELF.


As parents, we know what it is like to give, give, give, sacrifice life as we used to know it...because basically, for the next X number of years, we serve our children. We dedicate morning, noon and night to them...and as I said in my previous blog, we can lose our personal relationship...with ourselves AND our partner. 


So as we work, work, work we must set aside time for ourselves, for our partners, for our children, for our friends, for our family members. We must try to enjoy one on one activities, get involved, get our children involved.


When I cook or clean, I try to have Ellis help...he is two and a half...and loves to be included. This gives him such great pride...the look in his eyes is incredible...he relishes in any activity we do together. We also try to include Jenner...but being ten months old, he's a little tough to wrangle! He goes from one thing to another in a matter of seconds!


Ellis has helped me do laundry, scrub floors, wash the bath tub, shovel the deck, do dishes, bake cupcakes and cook supper. He helps me grind the coffee beans in the morning and gets Jenner his yogurt. I want him to know that he CAN do these things. I want them to be second nature to him. I want him to know that HE. IS. CAPABLE. And I am also instilling in him that all who live in a home together, nurture that home together. Everyone has shared responsibilities. We all make the home work together.


We were taught this growing up, and are continuing to show it to our children...we include them, they include each other...

Helping to water flowers

Baking with Grandma (while her kitchen was being reno'd)

Waiting for laundry to be done!

He loves watering flowers!

If you help make a mess, you help clean it up!

Decorating cupcakes...he picked green icing!

Baking buns with Gaga, Jenner is helping too!

We are team Smith's! When my boys are older, you can bet that they will be telling me and Jes to sit back and relax while they make supper together. My siblings and I did that for our parents, and they appreciate it. It's one less thing to do in a day.


I am pretty pleased to have both sides of my family involve one another in everything. It's awesome...my Thunder Bay family loves being a part of each other's lives...there is always time for tea together, there is always a big family supper around the table, there is always good conversation that everyone is involved in. Many stories have been told in that little house...Suesue and Papa G's house...Ellis always talks about it. And it is because they have created cherished memories in it for him! He knows that every time we go there he will play with them, watch movies with them...and you can bet he will tell Papa G to "bring me my suppoo" while we sit downstairs together.


I absolutely love involving my kids, I love teaching them responsibility...but not too much right now...they are kids of course! So there is lots of time to play, read books, colour, etc. 


We have many years of "real responsibilities" ahead, so I don't want to rush them right now. 


Both sides of our family nourish the spirit. We compliment one another, give each other a pat on the back when needed....we make sure to let each other know that we are doing a good job.


I like to think that I have always had a good head on my shoulders. Sure, I've made some mistakes, but I don't regret them. They have made me who I am. I can look at myself and feel good about who I am, where I am at in life, and I can say that I have no regrets. 
I think that is a great, positive way to feel. I hope my husband feels that, I hope my friends feel that, and I hope my children feel that.


If you are living life with a positive outlook, an open mind, an open spirit and not laying so much importance on things like looks, how "much" you have or how much money you make, then you will be a happier person.


We live within our means. If we can spoil ourselves a little here and there, then we will. We do what makes us feel happy, good. We do what makes us feel beautiful. As a whole. And when something is thrown in our way, we work at it together, and get by it. We don't need a lot of things in life...we just need to be able to look in our childrens' eyes and see happiness, confidence, honesty, pride, and spirit.


That is the sweetest reward.