these small faces

Its pretty amazing how looking into the eyes of children can make your heart melt. It lifts the spirit. It reminds you that we once were that way...so fearless, expressive and open to learning as much as we possibly could in that moment.

Ellis, June 2009, 9 months, cuddling Daddy, his favourite place to be.

We are blessed to have children. And they, too, should be blessed to have us. They chose us as their parents, there friends.

I have learned so much from my kids. How to be free, free of burdens, free of shame...I don't always put that into practice. And I should try. 

We all know that life isn't roses and butterflies, but when we, as parents are stressed out and ready for a break, we don't need to expose that to our children. I do it though...and I feel awful afterwards. My husband and I are trying so hard to keep life simple for our kids. To keep it playful. Fun. We don't want to burden our boys with the stress we carry. Money. Work. Exhaustion. 

This is life. This is life with kids. Its hard work, but its rewarding work. Especially at the end of the day, when we all have full bellies and happy hearts. And we cuddle. 

This is rare. Our boys are busy, busy, and busier. So to actually have them come to us for snuggles is great. Its so sweet to have Ellis wrap his little arms around our necks, nuzzle in, then take a moment to pull his fuzzy little head back, pucker his lips and give us the most tender, heart-felt little kiss.

There is so much power in that child. He's been places. He's going places.

Jenner, October 2010, 6 months, snuggled against me in the Bjorn

Now Jenner, if he isn't chasing you around, crawling at your feet, stumbling along the couch to get to you then he is off by himslef playing, playing, playing. He squeaks, squawks and grunts in approval. He blows spit bubbles and fake coughs and says "Mom mom mom"
If he doesn't get your attention by making kissy noises then he will yell at the top of his lungs! And the second you look...he gets the most sweetest, angelic...yet very devilish little grin.
He is a monkey. He's more outgoing than Ellis was at his age. Just yesterday he stood up at the oven (which was not on) and he pulled on the handle, about to swing from it like it was monkey bars, and the door came open. Down, down, down he went. The look of shock....priceless! He looked at me, waited for my reaction, then did the fake cry. It scared him, I know. But he is so controlled, that he didn't fall, he just sat. 
This is Jenner. He wants a reaction, as most babies do. But if Ellis so much as brushes against him, he will look at me and fake cry.
Oh he makes me laugh. He is so frustrated all the time. He tries to be like his big brother.
Under the table they play. And Jenner poises himself, one leg up, hands on the bench, and up he goes....BONK! Head hits the table. Down he sits...yells...and up he goes again....BONK!
Its ridiculous. Its funny. And I know I shouldn't laugh, but I do. And he will keep doing it until I go retrieve him. This is learning Jenner baby! It sucks sometimes!

Sweet Josie Mariah, Summer 2010, almost four (going on 30)

I should tell him what his cousin Josie tells him! "Jennuh....this is a NO GO ZONE, ok? You can't go here. No....Go....Zone." Ahh, Josie. My sister's girl. One of her two girls. She is a sweetheart...she is sensitive, intelligent and....amazing. Her eyes tell more stories than any other four year old I've met. She sings, she dances...she entertains all she meets. Her voice is high and squeaky, her hair is wild and curly...and her heart is open for all to love. She is a free spirit. She wrinkles her little nose when she sees you after a few days of not...she says so exhuberantly "MOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE, baby Jennuh is here!!! And Ellllliiiiiis!!" 


One day, she was dressed in her princess dress...no, not one day....every day. But this day, in particular, she was out at the farm. And in the spare room, with the door closed, she was in her dress. Wearing her paper crown (which she made for herself, one for Ellis and one for Halle) Down the hall I could hear Ellis...squealing...but not so much a happy squeal as a somebody-get-me-out-of-here-squeal! So I walked down the hallway...opened the door to see Ellis, his face red, his mouth open and his eyes looking at me as though they were begging to be saved! And Josie...Princess Josie...no sorry...she was Ariel.
So Ariel says to me "Clooooose the door!!" I said "Why? What are you doing!?"
Ariel exclaims, in a saddened, high pitched little voice, "I'm trying to get Prince Eric to marry me...and he won't let me!!"
Oh Josie. I mean Ariel...you are so sweet and funny and precious. She was bent over him, trying so hard to kiss him. You see, they were standing at the alter...and I guess Eric wouldn't say his vows or kiss her or do every thing she was telling him to do.
She should be a director. Or an actor, a teacher....anything that puts her in the driver's seat!

Halle, summer 2010, 1 1/2 years. Picking berries with Papa

And now there is Halle.


 My Hallster. She is sheer awesomeness at it's best. She is the absolute most determined little soul I have ever encountered in all my years. Bar NONE.
She has this walk...no...this stomp...or swagger. She is gangster! Tough little peanut. She is outspoken, ballsy and yet so unbelievably cuddly.


She has melted the hearts of the most hardened (but not really hardened...more like pretending to be hardened) men out there. Her Papa, my dad, is her most favourite guy...she sees him and will drop what ever she is doing and run towards him...butt poking out, chest sticking out...little body waddling back and forth as her tiny little, but kinda chubby frame makes her way to be scooped up by Papa. He always says in a a playful, goofy voice "Hiiii baby!" And she gets held by him...he props her up on his arms and she bounces around and pulls at his face and kisses him and hugs and hugs and hugs. And then, she's done. Down she goes. Onto the floor...with the sort of Bill Cosby, sense of accomplishment strut. No SWAGGER. Do you remember how Bill Cosby would dance with his butt and chest out, his arms up to his side almost like a T-rex? THAT is Halle. Only smaller. TINIER.
She is like a bullet. Small, sleek...you wouldn't notice it until it went off...then BOOM there she is! There is Hallster! She'll leave a mark on ya!


And once you have all of these kids together, you better be prepared for a work out! Your face will be stiff from laughing and smiling...your heart will be bursting with so much love and adoration and you will be so thankful that their big cousin Addy is there. She is the ring-leader. Well, no, she kinda wishes she was the ring leader. But there's no leading these crazy little animals...nope. They are a herd all on their own. Like wild horses.

Addysen, summer 2010, oh-so-close to 6, excited to run into us at the outdoor waterpark

But Addy...beautiful Addy...goofball Addy, does her best to round them up. And above all their yelling, giggling and squealing you can hear Addy, in absolute shock, "Did you guys feed these kids sugar for breakfast? Or what!?"
Addy and Ellis were born on the same day. I remember phoning my brother to tell him and his wife that I was pregnant. Lee answered and I said "Can I talk to Addysen please?" he said "Uhh, ya...sure" She got on the phone...only a little over three years old, and said "Haaaaallo!?" I asked her if she would like to share her birthday, as my due date was only a couple days off of it. And she thought about...actually, really thought about it, and said "Um, ya...I think that would be ok!" And I said "Great!! Because Aunty is having a baby!!" And that was it...my ear was almost bleeding because she screamed into the phone with so much excitement I could feel it through the phone line! She dropped the phone, and I heard her scuffle and jump about. Lee picked up the phone and said "What did you just tell her?" So I told him and he was excited.
See, Addy was the first grandbaby in our family. She was so excited to hear that Aunty Rikki was pregnant with Josie. Then a couple years later, it was a baby boom...Rikki and I were both pregnant, due four months apart...and now we have Addy, Josie, Ellis, Halle, and Jenner came but a little over a year after Halle.
My family couldn't be more happier, or more perfect. And now that we all live in the same area again, you can bet that there will be many, many, many suppers, birthdays, holidays and just nights to hang out and listen to our children play and laugh.
I just don't know how long our hearing will last!
But, its all worth it when you look into their sweet little faces!

Ahhhhhh! This is the meaning of life. 

There. Now you can stop searching!

Christmas 2010, "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!"